No “Happy Endings”: 7 Things Every Massage Therapist Wishes Guys Would Stop Doing

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No “Happy Endings”: 7 Things Every Massage Therapist Wishes Guys Would Stop Doing

Massage therapist and now Reign Spa owner, Ms. Marigrace Catap has seen everything — the good, the bad, the downright awkward for over 15 years. Not to mention, like all massage therapists, she put up with a seemingly endless “happy ending” jokes all the time.

No "Happy Endings"

 Your “happy endings” does not happen here and never will.

And while everyone thinks these jokes are funny and hilarious, the reality is that every massage therapist does have to deal with these sexually and heightened moments with male clients over the course of his or her career. According to Ms Catap, there are few lines that shouldn’t be crossed. What are they? Continue reading.

6 Things Every Massage Therapist Wishes Guys Would Stop Doing:

The “Show and Tell” game
Reign Spa’s massage therapists are professionals and won’t just stare at your hard-on after you have rudely removed the blanket that was (purposefully) placed on top of you to make noticed of your arousal.

No booty call, text or email!
We wish that all male clients would understand that Reign Spa offers and provides professional massage services ONLY and if by now you’re still not getting it, you might want to check the complete list of what we provide. Why on earth will you call, email or text us for “extra service”? Nope, we do not cater to this one and never will.

Stop table humping, would you?
Humping or “purposefully wiggling” — is a sexual act that is awkward and disarming for massage therapists. To be clear, we understand a client’s need to adjust himself and possibly rein in his boner if he has one so that the rest of the service can be enjoyed. But please do not hump the table until you are “satisfied.”

Sexually whispering or moaning
“Oh yeah, right there…wow…oooh…” awkward isn’t it? This won’t get you to the place you want to be, NOT in Reign Spa! We understand how great massage is, but moan like that when a massage therapist hits or strokes the right spot? We know the difference between, “Oh it feels good…” and the sound of whatever it is that you want to convey.

Do not touch the massage therapist
This is another alarming gesture for a massage therapist. Please do not touch your therapist during your service, unless you are having a heart attack or another similar kind of extreme physical episode that makes you unable to use your vocal cords.  But if you are a regular client and has established a friendly relationship with your therapist, hugs might be acceptable. But this is it!

No, we do not give massage to private parts of your body
If a guy is sporting some wood and asks a therapist to massage his inner thighs or stomach, guess what? We’re not going to do it. You are fooling no one.

Don’t Blow It: Do your “thing” before or after the appointment
This is something we ask you to do. Few clients do ejaculate during appointments (thank God it never happened in our spa). During therapeutic massage, erections can be annoying, embarrassing, and most of the times ridiculous. Just for clients to know, Reign Spa massage therapists has a zero-tolerance for this behavior. So, it’s either you blow it before of after your appointment and NOT during the therapy.

We are done with you, good bye!

Please keep in mind that we do not intend to boner-shame anyone. We would just like to educate the misinformed clients who think “happy endings” are a real thing — as 99 percent of the time, well this is not the case. Your “happy endings” does not happen here and never will. Read how to spot on a legitimate massage clinic.

If you make these mistakes, well you guessed it, we’ll end the service, you’re out of the spa and we’ll never see you again. Now how is that for a happy ending?

 

 

 

 

 

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